I have learned that it’s a lot of gray areas. So it works in both ways.īefore writing this book, and for many years, I thought of boundaries as saying no or cutting people off. Sometimes it can be my mother-in-law keeps popping up at my house and you may need to say something to your mother-in-law. A woman asked me today on Instagram: “How can I set boundaries with my drinking socially?” So that is a behavior. Sometimes it is behaviors that make you feel safe and comfortable. I want to start with a question that you use to open your book, which is basically, what even is a boundary? Nedra Glover Tawwabīoundaries are statements that make you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships. As always, there’s much more in the full podcast, so listen and follow Vox Conversations on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity. We talk about what boundaries are, why they’re so important, and I get some strategies for setting and keeping boundaries even when other people in my life don’t seem to want me to. Nedra is a therapist, bestselling author, and relationship expert. Or at least, that’s what our guest today, Nedra Glover Tawwab, writes about in her new book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace. But the fact remains that in your romantic relationships, at work, in your family, and in friendships, you’re going to have to set some boundaries one way or another.īoundaries are a way to value yourself, and they don’t have to be scary. Sometimes, you feel uncomfortable setting the boundary sometimes, the other person hates it and has a strong reaction.

Your parents may have taught you that “no” is a complete sentence, but actually saying it - or setting a boundary in general - can be tricky.

Nedra glover tawwab set boundaries